Telling someone they’re judgmental—without sounding judgmental yourself—requires honesty given with curiosity and care. Here are a few ways you may approach it, depending on the tone and context of the situation:
1. Use “I” Statements to Center Your Perspective
“I’ve noticed that when we talk about certain things, I start to feel a little judged or like there’s only one ‘right’ way to see it. I wonder if we could explore those things with a little more openness?”
This avoids labeling them directly and instead focuses on your experience of the dynamic.
2. Invite Curiosity Instead of Blame
“That’s an interesting take—can you tell me more about where that comes from? Sometimes it feels like there’s not a lot of room for other perspectives, and I’d love to understand yours better.”
This opens up dialogue rather than defensiveness.
3. Focus on the Impact, Not the Intent
“I know you probably don’t mean to come across this way, but some of your comments feel a little dismissive. I value our conversations and want to feel safe sharing different viewpoints.”
It lets them save face while still naming the issue.
4. Keep a Light but Honest Tone
“Dang, you’ve got some strong opinions! I sometimes feel like I need to defend myself around you—can we keep space for more than one way of seeing things?”
This version uses humor or casual tone to reduce tension while still making a point.
For additional readings on this subject, please see the following:
https://sistershipcircle.com/my-response-to-someone-who-judged-and-attacked-me/
